1000 Gifts Discussion

1. How are you doing on your list of 1,000 Gifts? Would you share three with us?

I'm trying to write 50 a week (about 10 every work day). So...hopefully I'll have 1000 in 20 weeks.
Colors
Hot showers
Students

2. What response did you have to Voskamp's theory that the restlessness of time slows when you sink into the moment-by-moment?

I usually read JJ's questions before reading the corresponding chapter, and as soon as I read this question I realized I something:  through this week of writing down gifts, my whole being has been so...calm.  Or at least calm by Rebecka standards.  The past few months my mind has been going, going, going.  Pretty much every waking moment has been spent researching grad schools, blogging about my teaching (so that once I do apply, I can impress schools), and figuring out what other things I can do to score both acceptance and a pleasing assistantship/fellowship.  I've been obsessed.  And it's not been healthy.  Until this week.  And I didn't even realize until now.  I'm so much more calm.  And the only thing I can think of to attribute this new calmness to is my searching for thankfulness.

So my response to Voskamp's theory--after my very limited practice--is that I think it just might work.

3. Please share at least one quote from the book that stopped you in your tracks this week. Why did it?

"Giving thanks for one thousand things is ultimately an invitation to slow time down with weight of full attention.  In this space of time and sphere, I am attentive, aware, accepting the whole of the moment, weighing it down with me all here" (p. 69).  "When I'm present, I meet I AM, the very presence of a present God.  In His embrace, time loses all sens of speed and stress and space and stands so still and...holy" (p. 70).

I enjoyed this whole chapter because I think Voskamp really pointed out what can happen practically when we give thanks:  we become present, we love the moment (as opposed to always looking ahead), and time slows.  And all that sounds really, really good to me.

4. Voskamp writes she just wants time to do her own life well. Can you name at least three items that would assure you you are living your own life well? Have you achieved those things? What still needs to be done for that peace to invade your space?

I'm not sure I fully understand this question. I'll leave this question blank for now and see if others' responses help me understand.

5. Voskamp writes "I only live a full life when I live fully in the moment." (pg. 68) This is a lovely thought, but what if the moment you're living in is ugly and you don't want to sink into it, embrace it? Is it still worth investing in that present moment if it's hurtful, ugly, or tricky? Why or why not? What's the benefit of living fully in the moment?

I think it's still worth embracing, because I think that's how we learn from it.  However...I don't think I could do it.  At least not yet.  If a tragedy were to hit my life today, I don't think I would be able to sink into it.  But, maybe this is another benefit of practicing a life full of thanksgiving?  If we practice it in the little things, in the day-to-day, maybe eventually we'll be able to practice it in the big stuff, too.

1. This is the week we challenge ourselves to write a list of 1,000 gifts we recognize in eucharisteo, thanksgiving. Start your list... and share five bits of thankfulness with us all. (Don't feel like you have to finish the list to 1,000 right now. Set a goal for yourself to keep working on it, but don't gorge yourself on thankfulness!)

A husband who loves me more than he loves himself
A soft, purring kitty keeping my lap warm
Coffee
My dad's care
My mom's love

2. Did any quotes jump out at you from this chapter? Please share at least one and tell us why it struck you as significant.

There was so much in this chapter that really spoke to me.  One of my favorite quotes was: "Do not disdain the small.  The whole of the life--even the hard--is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole.  These are new language lessons, and I live them out.  There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things.  It is this:  to give thanks in this one small thing.  The moments will add up" (p. 57, emphasis added).  It's so true--life is made up of the small.  And if we forget the small, then life might just pass us by.  Furthermore, if we want to develop a life of thanksgiving, it has to start with the everyday.  And it takes practice, just as Voskamp said.

3. Voskamp refers to this eucharisteo as a new language. How long would you realistically guess it would take you to learn a new language (like Swahili? or Chinese? or Spanish?)? Do you feel the learning of the language of thankfulness should take less time than the learning of a recognized foreign language? How does viewing thanksgiving as a new language change your expectations of your performance as a woman of thanks?

I think learning a language depends on a few things.  First, it depends on how much time you're going to dedicate to learning that language.  Are you going to move somewhere and submerse yourself in the language?  Or are you going to pop in Rosetta Stone once every other week?  Second, how fast you learn a language is dependent on your knowledge of other languages.  Typically, the more languages you know, the easier it is to pick up a new one.

So, applying this to a life of thanksgiving...

I think the more we submerse ourselves in a life of thanksgiving, the easier it will be to learn how to live out this life.  What does that look like though?  For sure it means intentionality.  I think starting the list Voskamp/JJ challenged us to do is a fantastic start.  I also think surrounding ourselves with others who want to grow in this area is another good way to learn the language of thanksgiving (i.e., this discussion group was a great idea, JJ .

As for the idea of the more languages you speak, the easier it is to pick up another--I think that thanksgiving will be easier to cultivate for those who have intentionally cultivated other characteristics.

4. In naming your gifts, do you agree with Voskamp that "in naming that which is right before me, that which I'd otherwise miss, the invisible becomes visible"? (pg. 54) Why or why not? Can you give specific examples?


I do agree with Voskamp.  I started to tear up just writing the first few items of my thanksgiving list.  I think seeing it on paper (or on screen, as I'm doing) does, in a way, make the invisible visible.


5. How would finding joy and happiness in "all the little things" change the relationships in your life? (Your marriage? Your parenting?) How would your perspective change when/if the significant person in your life told you YOUR thankfulness made THEM happy?

I stand by what I said last week--I'm the happiest in my marriage, my job, etc. when I'm most thankful for them.  And I think receiving positive reinforcement that this thankfulness was benefiting others would be awesome.  However, that kind of reinforcement typically only comes from mutual relationships.  And, let's face it, many relationships are not mutual (I'm specifically thinking of my students here).  What I'm saying is, I think we should continue this life of thanksgiving whether others acknowledge it or not.

1. Did any thought/theme startle you this week? Please give at least one quote that resonated with you personally.

"Because how else do we accept His free gift of salvation if not with thanksgiving?  Thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives.  Thanksgiving is the manifestation of our Yes! to His grace" (p. 39).  This paragraph kind of summed up the whole chapter for me.  The more I think about thanksgiving as "the evidence of our acceptance" the more it makes sense to me.

2. What's on your "bucket list"? Has this changed over the years? (i.e., before college/after college, before marriage/after marriage, before kids/after kids.) How? Why do you think our culture is fascinated with the idea of "Things to Do Before You Die"?

Two things on my bucket list: attempt to get a PhD and attempt to teach overseas.  When I was in college, I very much felt called to live overseas.  I've always had a heart for the hurting.  But, post-school, I think I've started to realize that there are a lot of hurting people around me.  Are some hurts bigger than others?  Sure.  But I'm definitely starting to wonder if I can make a bigger difference here in the States (where I speak the language and know the culture quite well!) than I can overseas.  I'm not sure.  Am I giving up on a dream?  Or worse, giving up on a calling?


3. When you consider your everyday, do you believe you can find things to make you "bow low," "see beauty," and be "arrested by wonder"? Why or why not?

I think so.  But I think it takes a lot of intentionality.  I think it's possible because I know I've done it on rare occasion.


4. Voskamp spends several pages providing support that Charis/Grace, Eucharisto/Thanksgiving, and Chara/Joy exist whenever, wherever. Did she convince you? How does that affect your daily experience?

She does convince me.  And I hope this idea affects my daily experience.  I want to live life constantly being thankful for what I've been given.  I agree with Voskamp--if we can live a life full of thanksgiving, we should (at least in theory!) experience more joy.


5. What do you think of the concept that salvation may be acquired at the acceptance of Christ but "fullest" salvation is only available in thanksgiving?

I agree with JJ--not sure how much I love the word "fullest," but I definitely see what she's getting at.  It reminded me of something I heard a pastor say this summer.  He said that if he gave his son $5 and his son didn't really care, he wouldn't be too inclined to give his son more.  On the other hand, when his son shows great gratitude for something as small as $5, it makes him just want to give him more and more and more.  That analogy has really stuck with me.

I feel most complete in my marriage when I take the time to think about how incredible my husband is and how much he's done for me.  I feel most satisfied in my job when I think about how lucky I am to get to teach what I love to students who are pretty incredible.  The more I think about it, my life seems to make most sense when I'm thankful.

1)  How did theme(s) of this chapter touch you personally?

I, too, have never lost a child.  But you don't have to lose a child to know that this world is broken, and life really sucks sometimes.  I've lived in four countries (two developed and two under-developed), and the question I have struggled with since I was a child is the question Ann asks over and over again:  "If God is good, why does He let bad things happen?"  Why will some kids (i.e., me) never, ever want for food, while others will be forced to lower themselves to the position of beggars just survive from day to day?  Why did I get my choice of education, when others only dream of getting to go school?  Why I am here, and they're...there?

While there may not be answers to these questions, I do believe there are responses to the situations.  I'm trying to figure those out.

2)  Direct our attention to at least one quote – why did this stand out to you?

"We don't see the material world for what it is meant to be:  as the means to communion with God" (p. 16).  This reminded me of a lesson our pastor taught a couple weeks ago that really resonated with me.  He said we so often feel like we lack spirituality in our lives.  And our go-to method to cure this is to "do more spiritual things," such as reading our Bible, praying, fasting, etc.  Not that these things shouldn't be done, but there's a real danger in compartmentalizing our lives into the "spiritual" and the "non-spiritual."  Because God's everywhere (and, furthermore, I'm pretty sure He doesn't want to be seen as a chore).  So, going to work can be a real spiritual act, if we're thinking about how we can encourage our co-workers.  Eating dinner can be spiritual, if--in addition to nurturing our bodies--we long to nurture the person(s) sitting next to us.  JJ--loving my cats can be a spiritual act because, in them, I can choose to see the creativity and hilarity of their Creator. 

That's my summary of the sermon, which I'm pretty sure was taken from Rob Bell's "Everything is Spiritual" tour, if you're interested.  I'm hoping that this will be a theme Ann will continue to develop.  Because it's something I desperately need to chew on some more.

3)  Do you think Voskamp is being realistic in challenging us to live an "empty, full" life? Does that make sense to you? Why or why not?

I agree with Heather--I guess I didn't see this as much of a theme in this chapter.  I do really like how JJ summarized it as surrender though.  That's a concept I can wrap my head around a little better.  For me, surrender means humility.  I spend nearly ever waking moment figuring out how I can become better, more important, etc., etc.  And yet, that's the exact opposite of what Jesus did: "[Jesus], being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant..." (Phil 2:5-7).  Gulp.  Jesus was continually searching for ways to lower Himself, to serve others.  What do I do?  I continually search for ways to lift myself up and have others below me.  I wonder if this lowering is somehow connected the "empty, full" life?  In lowering ourselves, we empty ourselves of...us.  But I know I feel fullest when I'm helping others.

4)  Did you disagree with anything in the chapter? Why?

I'm not sure I fully buy into "bad things happen because God knows the full story and we don't."  I feel like that's saying God wants bad things to happen, or at least is ok with them happening.  I may be totally wrong here, but--at this point in my life--I can't buy into a god like that.  If I cried over Ann's story, never having met the lady and reading about it years after the occurrence of the tragedies, how much more did God--the One who is love and who created Ann--cry as her life was split apart?  If I'm imperfect, and I feel so much compassion, how much more so does God (the one in whose image I'm created)?

So, what's the alternative?  There are things God can't stop from happening?  At the risk of sounding heretical, that's where I am right now (honesty, right?).  I'm wondering if God didn't create the world in such a way that He chose to surrender some control to man.  In this surrender, he made creatures that were able to choose--they would be able to decide for themselves if they wanted Him or not.  But they would also have other choices to make--good ones and bad ones.  And with that choice came sin.  And with the entrance of sin, the world broke.

I know that wreaks of heresy.  I'm not saying God isn't omnipotent.  I'm saying maybe He chose to release some of that power to man in order to create something truly beautiful--a relationship.  There have just been too many times in my life that I've thought, "This isn't how God intended life to be.  This isn't the Garden of Eden."

5)  Please give at least one item that your mind keeps going back to from this chapter. Does it encourage you to take action in any way?

So while I don't fully agree with the "God knows best" mentality (I've found that those words aren't that comforting to the grief-stricken anyway), I really love the idea that we can choose to use life's heartaches as a means to helping us grow.  I think Kristin summed up my feelings perfectly: "God does some of his best work when we are at our worst."  Some of the hardest times in my life are the times I've grown and matured the most.  I think because I was so desperate.

But the question still remains:  HOW do we choose to learn from our sorrows?  How do we choose to grow?  I don't know for sure.  One thing that has helped me get through heartaches is focusing on others and letting others learn from my sorrows and my experiences.  Sharing is therapeutic.  Helping is even more so.  As I read some of your gut-wrenching stories I kept thinking, "These stories need to be shared.  People need to hear them."  The high school girls I teach?  They need to hear that they're not the only ones who have been abused.  They need to hear that they're not alone.  They need to hear that they're worthy because of Christ, not because of a boy.  So, from someone who spends day in and day out with high school and college students, please keep sharing your stories.  Because they impacted me; I know they can impact others; and I think sharing/helping is a way to healing.

One more thing and then I'll shut up.  Ann said, "Satan's sin becomes the first sin of all humanity:  the sin of ingratitude" (p. 15).  I'm always hesitant to believe formulaic statements like this...but I'm intrigued by this idea.  Very intrigued.

PS
I'm really trying to work on becoming less verbose.